Finding Joy in Him♥

So here's a really quick overview of what I did in the past week/weekend. Celebrated Spencer's birthday, studied, babysat Josiah, saw Dear John (disappointing if you've read the book), went to Nexus, studied, met amazing people at small group through church, went out to dinner with Spencer's parents and a few friends, studied, made brownies, watched movies, went to church, studied, cleaned my room/bathroom, hung out with friends, and did I mention that I studied?

I haven't had all that much homework, yet I know that I have a million quizzes, midterms, and paper deadlines coming up really soon so I'm trying to stay on top of things. I have dedicated way too many hours to reading my biology book and trying to decode my dreams for psychology. This semester is a lot closer to what I thought college would be like in comparison to last semester where I didn't have nearly as heavy of a work load. But I really can't complain all that much since I 1. am very blessed to be going to college and 2. only have classes two days a week and it's not even that bad of a schedule on those two days. As for this upcoming weekend, I think I am going to be heading back to Clovis... I didn't feel like I really wanted to come home all that much, but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to go home even if it was just for a couple days. I felt kind of lost this weekend since a lot of my friends/roommates were out of town, and it made me miss being in my house around my family and having all my friends be within a five minute drive and almost always available. I think I'll feel better after a weekend at home.

Other than school and studying, I am trying to keep up with reading my Bible. I FINALLY finished Isaiah after what seemed like an eternity, but I'm really glad I stuck with it... I ended up enjoying it for the most part. Now I have moved onto Hosea and James (yes, at the same time). I felt kind of disconnected for a little while after coming back to school, like my quiet times with God had turned into somewhat of a chore. But I've finally gotten back into the swing of things. I listened this past week as one of my friends spoke briefly at Nexus about how we should look at our relationship with God... He said it should be looked at like a friendship: if you spend days, weeks, or months pushing a friend away, how can you ever have a deeper and more meaningful relationship with them? You can never get to know them any better, and it will strain your friendship in the end. I realized that I wasn't finding the joy in my relationship with God, but as I started to read through James, it occurred to me (once again) just how well God knows me and my heart. I feel like I continually grow closer to Him with each given day, and I am finding so much joy in Him and His word.


"We will find what we are looking for if we will concentrate on Him. We get distracted from God and irritable with Him while He continues to say to us, "Look to Me." Our difficulties, our trials, and our worries about tomorrow all vanish when we look to God."

Busy Busy!

I have been so bad about updating lately and I apologize! This semester has already been a bit hectic. I had my first midterm of the semester last week (insane that my professor scheduled it for the second week of the semester!). I had to memorize the entire anatomy of a dinosaur, but I managed to get an A (: So my weeks have consisted of studying, classes, babysitting, church, and hanging out with friends. I've actually had quite a bit of free time, and I'm trying to get out of the dorm as much as possible. I don't want to stay home all this semester and be lazy... So I've been hanging out with my friends and roommates often. Spencer and I have been studying together and going to Starbucks (I don't know what I'm going to do when he goes to France next year!).

Other than that, I feel like I came into this semester with an open mind and I have really found a new appreciation for my roommates. I got pretty annoyed last semester, but I think because I haven't been home as much this semester, I've gotten along with them much better. We've had some nice conversations and fun laughs already... Things are looking up as of right now.

I also had my interview for Hume Lake last week, and I'm thinking it went pretty well. The conversation flowed pretty easily between me and the woman who interviewed me. Then on top of that, my Bible study leader, Matt, knows the lady conducting interviews and hiring people (he worked at the camp a few summers ago and plans to work there again this summer...) so he sent her a really nice email about me! I'm hoping that helps too (:

My Valentines Day was spent having a nice dinner with friends (the night before) then at church and babysitting. Since I did not have a boyfriend or a guy in my life this year, I was happy I could babysit Josiah and let Micah and Erica have a nice night out. It also gave me some time to get some homework done and just relax for a little bit while the little guy napped. It was much better than spending my day at home thinking about how everyone was going on dates haha!

As for the weeks to come, they're pretty much involving the same routine I mentioned earlier, which I don't mind at all! I'm not in a huge hurry to go home or anything, but it would be nice to see everyone probably some time next month. I miss my friends and family... and of course that crazy little dog! I'll most likely visit Clovis again in the middle of March or something then I'll be home again for spring break and my birthday in April. I don't feel quite as homesick this semester... Maybe because I'm more used to this environment now or because I had seven whole weeks at home, but either way it's nice to feel comfortable here. Sonoma State finally feels like my home away from home.

God's Grace

The Asian Pacific American Conference this weekend was so fun! I ate some really weird things the first night (traditional Chinese banquet food... deep fried fish with the head still on, need i say more?), met some really nice people from my school and other norcal schools, received numerous compliments from the other girls there, and came away feeling closer to God. The weekend, for me, was more about grace than my Asian American identity.

I learned that there are so many times in my life that I know that God freely gives me grace yet I feel as if I have to do something to repay Him. I have to read my Bible every night, go to every Intervarsity event, or try to be the "perfect Christian girl" in order to find favor in His eyes... When in reality that is not at all how it is. God's love is so unconditional and unchanging; He loves me now and has loved me even when I made decisions that I'm not so proud of now. His grace covers every part of my life and is something that cannot be increased or diminished by any mistake or good deed. God knows what's in my heart, where I've been, and where my life is headed. I think I learned this weekend that His grace comes with no strings attached and is something I should find great joy in. He calls out to me in hardest times of my life saying, "my precious child, do not be afraid to come to Me and crawl into My arms... I am here and I love you no matter what you have done". That thought brings me more comfort than anything else in this world.

God's grace will continue to amaze me time and time again. The way God has spoken to my heart this weekend moved me in a big way. I even stood up to share with the entire conference a letter I had wrote to God this morning, a way to accept His grace. It's amazing the courage God has given me to be so open about my faith and the things He is doing within me. Knowing that I will continue to grow closer to Him throughout my life and our relationship will strengthen even more is exciting. I think I now know the true meaning of rejoicing in the Lord (:

"I am your beloved, Your creation... And You love me as I am. You've called me chosen for Your kingdom; unashamed to call me your own... I am your beloved. "

Long Week!

Oh my goodness... My first week of classes was SO long! I think it was just because I had to get back into the routine of going to bed at a decent hour, getting up early, and managing my time well. I only have classes Tuesday/ Thursdays, but that means that those two days are pretty hectic. I have class from 8-10:30 am (two different classes) then I have a pretty long break... Then I have four classes back to back from 2:30-6:40. It hasn't been too bad; it was just hard to go from doing literally nothing all day everyday to doing something constantly. Welcome back to college life!

Along with starting classes this week, I also started babysitting (man have I missed doing that!). For the last 5 or so years I had so much fun babysitting my neighbors, Cooper and Finnley, but since I moved I haven't babysat at all... I forgot how much fun it can be! I'm going to start watching little Josiah every Wednesday. His mom actually used to babysit me a long time ago when she lived across the street from me! Erica and Micah (Josiah's parents) both work at the awesome church I've been going to/volunteering at since I came to school. I had a lot of fun playing with him Wednesday... It was a million times better than going to classes (especially since he's such a good baby!). So I think Wednesdays will quickly become my favorite day of the week (:

As for everything else... I am going to an Asian Christian conference this weekend (Mom, maybe your hope for me to marry a Christian man and an Asian guy will finally work out this weekend... haha don't get your hopes up!). And I also have a phone interview for Hume lake this next week! I'm hoping things go well! Then the rest of my free time has been spent either studying or hanging out with the people I have missed so much and the new friends I've made over the past week! I feel so blessed to have good classes, great friends, and time to relax! (: God knows exactly what I need and He has definitely provided over the last few months!

When I don't fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere... When I don’t measure up to much in this life; oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ ♥

Uneventful Day

Today was filled with errands... I don't want to explain everything that I did because it is going to sound incredibly boring! But I will say that I got up early this morning (without even having classes) and went to the rec center to work out! I also got to catch up with a bunch of people and just have fun before my classes start tomorrow. Tonight I went to an intervarsity outreach event where they addressed the issue of slave trafficking... We all made shirts having to do with it and we're going to wear them on Thursday. We're hoping that the vague message on the shirts will prompt people in our classes to ask us about them so we can raise awareness.

I wish I had more things to update everyone on, but unfortunately today was pretty uneventful! Tomorrow, however, may be a different story. Five classes in one day will definitely be interesting... and I'm sure I'll have more than enough to complain about! (: