The Girl Who Loves Jesus (:

I FINALLY finished my philosphy paper, or the first draft at least. But I am so happy have that out of the way! My only class this morning was psych, so after that I went to lunch with Chloe and Kaitlin then I had a one on one meeting with my University 102 teacher. After that I went home and took Krista to Walgreens... We got lost on the way back, but it was actually really funny. I reached for my gps and she thought I was taking out my Bible, which really made me laugh! It kind of got me thinking too... My friends' from SSU see me as having a really strong faith and that is kind of how I am defined, "the girl who loves Jesus". This is so different from how I was seen before, but it's not different in a way that bothers me. I was thinking about it today and I decided that I would much rather be seen as someone who loves Jesus and is defined by that as opposed to being labeled in a negative way. And I guess the fact that they all see me like that just means that I have been open about my faith and not ashamed to share it with them. It's definitely not a bad thing because I do love Jesus (:
Anyways, back to the rest of my day... I came home and worked on my paper for over 3 hours straight! I finally got it all finished and I was beyond excited. I rewarded myself by watching 90210 and Greek online before finishing up some more homework. Then I talked to Daryl on Skype for a long time about everything that's been going on... Man I miss him! It was nice being able to talk to him about everything just like I used to when we both lived in Clovis. It's weird how much things have changed since then. Maybe it's not so much that things have changed, but that I've changed. I don't really know, it's just a weird transition time for me I guess, but I'm not letting myself get discouraged. I'm proud of who I am and who I am becoming, and I know that God has a plan for my life. (:

Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. -Romans 12:12

Nothing that I Love More than Writing Papers!

Today I knocked out a whole 4 page argument paper for my psych class and I am now up to page 8 of my 12-15 page analytical paper for philosophy. I think my brain is on essay overload right now. I locked myself in my room today after lunch and forced myself to work on my psych until I just couldn't do it anymore. To get my mind off of it for a little bit, I decided I could clean my shower. So I got out all my cleaning supplies and started scrubbing the tub, but when the tub didn't drain too well I decided it was time for some Draino. So i removed the little metal cover thing that goes over the drain and there was a nice little present waiting for me underneath there... a huge hairball covered in nasty shower goo! This was most definitely not my hair either! I have a little plastic cover that I put over the drain to catch all my hair... Plus the hair in the drain was red an blonde. So I got out my yellow gloves and started to remove the nasty mess of hair that was wrapped around my drain. It was seriously the most disgusting thing I've ever done; it was a thousand times worse than any of the diapers I've had to change while babysitting. The hair was mixed in with dirt and other things nasty things. After I cleaned it out the best I could, I poured Draino in there hoping it would work it's magic. But my drain was SO clogged that not even the Draino could get through! After about an hour, I came back to find that it had finally gone down, but my shower still doesn't drain all that quickly. That right there is one of the few things I miss about being home... If my shower didn't drain at home I would A. get my dad to help me deal with it and B. know that it is my hair that is clogging up the drain and not someone else's! Ew! So my day consisted of writing papers and cleaning out disgusting showers... I'm scarred for life thanks to the contents of my drain.

"Into marvelous light I'm running, out of darkness, out of shame. By the cross You are the truth, You are the life, You are the way"
I love that this song says out of darkness and out of shame... I feel like that's the direction my life is heading in right now. It's amazing where your life goes when you let God consume your heart and trust in His plan (:

A Weekend With the Girls

So this weekend I spent the majority of my time with Chloe, Liz, and Jenna. Saturday, Chloe and I went to doggy day which is where this organization brought in different trained dogs for us to play with. It was really fun and it made me miss my Hercules! After that we went to Charlie Brown's and got smoothies then headed over to Liz and Jenna's to hang out. We practiced our hoedown throwdown until it was time for Chloe and I to go to church. After service, we went by In n Out then went back to the school to pick up Jenna and Liz. Then we all headed over to the movie theater to see Fame! It was so good! We all loved it, and can I just say that I am officially in love with Asher Book... his song "Try" is so cute! Plus the dancing in the movie was amazing! After the movie we went to Applebees so Liz could get the dessert she had been craving then we went back to Liz and Jenna's room to hang out. We spent the rest of the night doing the hoedown throwdown for their suitemates, Liz's friends from home, and her boyfriend over Skype. It was pretty hilarious to say the least. Today I woke up and went to church again, this time to help in the 5th and 6th grade class. When I got home, Chloe, Liz, and I went to the caf for brunch (interesting food... omlettes and frozen yogurt served in the same meal) then headed out to Santa Rosa to go to the mall. I am happy to say that I held back from buying all the cute things I saw in Forever 21, even though I found a gorgeous dress for $17... I decided I didn't need it that bad and I would save my money for Urbana. When we were done shopping we went back to our rooms and Chloe and I worked on some homework. Somewhere along the way we got extremely tired so we decided to take half hour naps before going to pick up Kaitlin. We were so excited to see her! It just wasn't the same without her. So now the trio is reunited and we're busy planning adventures for the next week. This weekend was a good way to get my mind off of all the stress... But now it's back to school and getting work done, until next weekend that is (:

He answered: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself." -Luke 10:27 ... I had heard this verse before, but they talked about it at church on Saturday and I just think it's a good way to keep things in perspective. The number one thing in your life is to love God with all that you have and second is to love your neighbor as yourself... What a world it would be if everyone kept that in mind.

Do the Hoedown Throwdown! (:

Surprisingly, today was a really good day. I went to breakfast this morning at the Black Bear Diner with Chloe and Kaitlin, then we dropped Kaitlin off at the Double Tree so she could catch a shuttle to the airport. She headed home to San Diego for the weekend, and she's missing all the fun! After Chloe and I got home, I did some homework then watched Glee and Greys Anatomy on Hulu. They were both SO amazing... especially Glee! Then this afternoon, my friend Sarah and I went to Santa Rosa to serve food at a family shelter. We did it through the communit service program on campus called JUMP (join us making progress) and it was actually pretty fun. We got to serve food to a lot of the kids, and Sarah and I got to work the window which was the best part. By the time I got home, Chloe almost had dinner made. We waited for Jenna and Liz to get there, then we had what Chloe called a "Mexican feast". She made delicious chipotle bean burritos, tostadas, and salsa. After our meal we were trying to figure out something to do, but there was not a lot going on tonight, especially in a town where everything closes by 9. So we decided to learn the hoedown throwdown from the Hannah Montanna Movie (for those of you who have not seen the movie I suggest you look it up on Youtube!), so I'll definitely be posting a video of our dance very soon! We also spent a lot of time just having good talks about random stuff. It was fun to have a nice little girls night. We have so much planned for this weekend, I'm so excited (: Life is definitely looking up at this point!

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." -John 8:12

PS.. Here is one more thing we made in our spare time tonight... I hope no one is offended by this because we seriously were crying because we thought it was so funny!
http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/K4DafhlbL7CNOSN9 (copy and paste that into your url bar thing!)

Life Ain't Always Beautiful... But it's a Beautiful Ride

The hardest part about growing up is letting go of what you were used to, and moving on with something you're not.

I think I'm quickly learning that life does not always go like we plan. That has been something I've struggled with for awhile now, trusting in God's plan instead of trying to make my own plan work. Over the past week I've just been up and down with my emotions, trying to figure out where exactly I'm going with everything in my life. I found out some unsettling things in the past week and they really got to me down deep and just kind of shook me to the core. It has made me reevaluate what kind of person I want to be seen as and the type of people I want to surround myself with. I have learned that sometimes you have to forget about what other people think or say about you because in the end only God knows your true heart. He knows who I am, what I'm living for, and ultimately where I am going in my journey. I have had so many stress factors in the past weeks since being here and I think I am finally starting to sort it all out. I am trusting that God has a plan for me and He will walk with me through everything so I should never be afraid of what I'm facing. This past week especially has taught me to handle everything with prayer. I just feel like the situation I'm in can only go up from here and I'm taking comfort in that. I have also said time and time again that I have met the most amazing people up here; they have really proven to be just as amazing as I make them out to be. I got texts, facebook comments and messages, and phone calls all from my friends and the people in my Bible study telling me they love me, they're praying for me, and they're here for me if I need anything. I have my roommates coming into my room all the time to hug me and remind me that I have them here for support. Most of all I've been reminded that family is the one thing in my life (aside from God) that will always remain constant. They are always on my side and just want what is best for me. It's been quite a difficult week, but to know that I am blessed with so many caring and genuine people, that is really all I need.

And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. -Romans 5:2-5

What is still unknown has caused my fear to grow, fear of whats unseen... But with your embrace I know I can face, all thats facing me. -Jonny Diaz

Rejoice (:

Thanks to the coffee I picked up from Charlie Brown's this morning after philosophy, I managed to stay awake and completely focused today during math! That is a true accomplishment for me. After my classes this morning I had a one on one meeting with my student teacher from my university class. We sat and talked outside for awhile; it was nice to get to know her better. Right after that I met up with one of my Bible study leaders, Shannon, and we went back to her room and had lunch. It was a lot of fun... Her roommates are all really nice and Shannon is probably one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet. Also, her room is probably the most amazing thing ever! She lives in Tuscany, and it is SO pretty! But anyways, after my lunch with Shannon, I came home and started to feel pretty nauseated. So when I went to ballet I ended up just watching the class (which was alright with me!). Then I came home and it was time for Bible study. I loved the passage we went over tonight; it was about rejoicing in your sufferings and rejoicing in God just on a normal basis in everything you do. And I know I say this all the time, but the people in that group are some of the most amazing people I have ever met. They are the most genuine and caring people; they don't hesitate to pray for you, give you a hug when you need it, or make time to hang out. I'm just so blessed to have them in my life.

"If you feel depressed with past regrets, the shameful nights hope to forget can disappear they can all be washed away. By the one who's strong can right your wrongs, can rid your fears dry all your tears and change the way you look at this big w...orld. He will take your dark distorted view and with His light He will show you truth... And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl"

-Jonny Diaz ...I think I can listen to this song 100 times and not get tired of it. It's just one of those songs that makes me feel so loved and happy to be me.

I Thought I Left the Desert Back in August...

It has been ridiculously hot for the last week. I thought Clovis was bad, but this kind of heat is sticky because of the humidity. I didn't want to be outside at all today... So I drove to my psych class this morning, but it was extremely cold in that building so I froze for the whole 4 hour class. After that I came home and waited for Chloe then we walked to the caf together and met Kaitlin. They had potstickers today (very interesting) so I pretty much just had a salad. After that I walked home for my meeting with my co-op leader. Co-op is a program I have to participate in within the dorms I live in; my co-op is called citizenship and civility so we do mostly community service. My leader is really sweet so I had a nice little talk with her then headed over to Kaitlin's room to help her do laundry. I didn't really help her, I mostly just sat there and talked while she started all the machines. When she was done, I went back home again and laid on the couch with Chloe. I ended up taking a mini power nap then woke up to make dinner. I made fried rice for the first time without my mom's supervision. I was pretty disappointed with it since the pan I was using was too small so some of the rice came out crispy since I couldn't completely mix it up. But Kaitlin was really happy with it... She said it was delicious. After dinner, Chloe and Kaitlin went to Bible study (not the one I usually go to, but the one Rachel leads) and I stayed home to study and work on my paper. After getting completely sidetracked and going on a whole cleaning spree in the kitchen, I finally started to concentrate and I finished everything I needed to get done tonight. Then I managed to clean my room too (my suitemates were making fun of me for how messy my room was). All of this happened before midnight too! I'm happy that I can actually get more than 4 hours of sleep tonight. (:

Be strong a courageous. Do not be terrified; Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. -Joshua 1:9

Just Keep Swimming..

Swimming, swimming.. just keep swimming- inspired words from Finding Nemo (:

Today was pretty easy and very productive. I had my usual Monday classes, philosophy and math, then I went to lunch with Kaitlin, Chloe, Liz, and Jenna. I actually really liked my outfit today since it was perfect for the weather (that comment was not totally random, just wait and it will start to make sense why I said that). So while we were at lunch I had all my food and I was talking on the phone when I sat down with my usual drink of some weird grapefruit juice thing (it's pink) and then I moved my arm weird, since I was still on the phone, and the whole drink spilt on my WHITE shorts. So then one of my favorite tops and my only pair of white shorts are totally pink. My day quickly shifted from being a lazy day to a laundry day. So while my shorts were soaking up some major Zout, Kaitlin and I headed over to the rec center to work out. We did some cardio then an ab workout that Kaitlin complained about the entire time. Right after that I had ballet for 2 hours which was pretty boring and uneventful. I came home and Skyped with my mom for a little bit, ate dinner, and just hung out in my room. Then it came time to do laundry, so Kaitlin and I walked to the laundry room only to run into literally one of the rudest girls I've ever met. It was pretty ridiculous and I seriously thought girls stopped being that stuck up after high school, but apparently it carried over with this girl. Anyways, I got my laundry done by 10pm tonight (the laundry room is so crowded) and I got to spend some time with some of my favorite girls! I came across a few little speed bumps tonight, but I'm just happy I made it out alive. I'm just trying to keep a positive attitude!

Oh great and Mighty One, with one desire we: that You would reign, that You would reign in us. We're offering up our lives.. a living sacrifice, that You would reign, that You would reign in us.

Weekend With Mom

This weekend was filled with adventures with my mom. Friday after I got out of my classes, my mom, Chloe, Kaitlin, and I went to Charlie Brown's Cafe (on campus) for brunch. After that we headed up to Santa Rosa to get pedicures (seriously, over a month is way too long to go without one!) and we visited one of my mom's clients. We went to the store to get food for dinner, then we came back to my dorm and my mom cooked for all of my friends from my bible study. It was fun having everyone meet my mom just like I would at home, and I know she enjoyed it too since I tell her about everyone over the phone but she never could really put names with faces. That night we went to see the new Tyler Perry movie, "I Can Do Bad All By Myself"... It was really good and really funny. Saturday we woke up and drove into San Francisco; we had dim sum first and then headed to Market Street to do some shopping. We stopped in at Forever 21, H&M, then went to some thrift stores in Japan town. It was a lot of walking, but it was nice to spend time together. We also had sushi, which wasn't all that great, but it was so much better than eating in the caf! That night, she loaded me up on groceries and we headed back to the school and I fell asleep pretty early. This morning we woke up and went to New Vintage for church. Then it was time for her to leave :( but first she made me chicken curry and rice for lunch and froze some for me to have later on (it was nice to have a home cooked meal!). Chloe, Kaitlin, and I walked her out to the truck and said goodbye. Then we ran some errands; we went to Walmart and Safeway. Then we headed to Golden Spoon (frozen yogurt place) and they treated me to some froyo (I just love those girls for doing such nice things for me). When we got home, Kaitlin and I installed my new showerhead all by ourselves, watched 90210, then we ordered pizza from Ameci's so that we didn't have to walk all the way to the caf. This weekend was overall pretty fun... It was good for me to have my mom around for a few days; I can't wait to go home now so I can see her and the rest of my family and friends again! But for now I just have to get through the week ahead with all my school work. Back to the same old schedule!

"Give me one pure and holy passion, give me on magnificent obsession... Give me one glorious ambition for my life: to know and follow hard after You. To know and follow hard after you, to cgrow as your dicsiple in your truth. This world is empty, pale, and poor ompared to knowing You, my Lord; lead me on and I will run after You"
I forgot to mention the missions conference that I'm looking into attending over winter break! It's in Missouri and I'm really hoping it all works out to where I can go. I'm excited to see what kind of passion God will instill in me (:

Math Trouble & Momma's Here!

My whole day today revolved around math and how much I'm struggling with it. I went to a tutoring session today for an hour and I was still confused. So I came home and studied for about 3 hours (not just for math, but philosophy also). Then it was time for me to go to dinner before Nexus, so I took my homework with me to Brittney and Rachel's and had Kaitlin help me. Then I went to Nexus and my mom got here just in time to come with me! We both really enjoyed, and I loved that she was able to meet all my friends and suitemates finally. After Nexus, we walked out to the truck and brought all of her stuff in and I started on my homework once again. I'm lucky I have such a smart brother; I called him on Skype and he helped me figure out my graphing calculator (even my tutor couldn't figure it out) plus help me on all my problems. Once he explained it all to me I managed to finish my homework by midnight (yes! haha). While I was doing homework my mom made me some top ramen, and we sat with Chloe and had a nice little talk. It's nice having my mom here; she already started cleaning up the suite and I liked that she made me food like she used to. It's going to be a fun weekend with her here. It's exactly what I've been needing lately. Sometimes life can be so chaotic and difficult, but it's nice to know that family is the one thing that always stays constant.

And I can feel Your presence here with me, suddenly I'm lost within Your beauty. Caught up in the wonder of Your touch; here in this moment I surrender to Your love (:

Let It Be Said of Us...

Today was a pretty laid back day. I didn't have philosophy this morning because we had a furlough day, so I slept in until 9 which was nice. Math was good because a girl sitting next to me asked a million (yes that's right, a million!) questions about what we're learning, and right now I am completely lost so it helped a lot. After math I met up with Kaitlin for lunch, and when we got to the caf we sat with Jenna and Liz. Also, can I just say that today was by far the nastiest meal I've had in the caf since moving here. The salad was good, but then I made some sandwich out of "vegan bbq strips" thinking it would be healthy; if healthy is a synonym for extremely disgusting, then yes it was the healthiest thing I've ever eaten. So after a bite of that, I tried the tomato soup... Wrong choice number two. So pretty much I just had a tiny salad for lunch because by the time I finished the soup I was too frustrated to get anything else. After lunch, Kaitlin and I stopped by the post office to pick up some packages then we headed back to my room so I could change. Then Chloe joined us on our walk to the bookstore to pick up some school supplies, and on the way I stopped at the tutorial center and signed up for a math tutor (yay for finally getting help!). We headed home after that so I could study for a little bit, and then get sidetracked and end up watching sad youtube videos for about an hour. If you ever feel the need to cry, type in "soldiers coming home" on youtube and there are some of the sweetest videos you will ever see! So after I finished with all that good stuff, Kaitlin came over then Chloe came home and we got ready for bible study. It was pretty great tonight... I love listening to everyone's different interpretations of the verses we read tonight, and of course the people are amazing too! It was really cool because one of the guys stopped my suitemate and her friend (my suitemate is a different religion) and he asked them if they had any prayer requests because he wanted to pray for them. I thought that was really bold and they would just laugh and blow it off, but they actually stopped and told him a few things... I just thought that what he did was so inspiring; like you can share your faith with everyone, not just the people you know are believers. I feel like this atmosphere up here and the people I'm spending time with, are teaching me just as much as my classes are. It showed tonight when I brought Kaitlin and Chloe to tears just by telling them that I'd been praying for them. A few months ago I for sure wouldn't have been comfortable telling people that, but I just felt like it would give them reassurance for what they're going through, and they were so thankful. I'm just amazed by the way God is working in my life. (:

Oh and PS.. My momma comes tomorrow! YAY!

For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. -Philipians 2:13 ...Exactly how I'm feeling (:

"Let it be said of us that our hearts belong to Jesus. Let it be said of us that we spoke the words of life; let it be said of us that our heritage is blessing for life."

Yoga and Naps

Today was one of the most relaxing days I've had in months. My psych class was let out over an hour early, so I got to come home and take a nap. When I woke up, I ate some toast, road my bike to Liz's room, then we headed over to the rec center for some piyo (a mix of pilates and yoga). The class turned out to be kind of comical though... the poses were awkward and so was the teacher; Liz and I could not stop laughing, so I guess that sort of counts as an ab work out right? Anyways, after that I rode my bike home, studied for a little bit, watched More to Love on Hulu, then took another nap (see what I mean about relaxing!). I would have slept longer than an hour except Chloe came in and banged on my door to wake me so that she would have someone to keep her company. So I got up and sat with her until it was time to walk to the caf for dinner. There we met Kaitlin, Liz, and Jenna. The food wasn't entirely horrible, but I ended up having steamed broccoli, a small piece of grilled chicken, and a tiny bit of pasta. I was so proud of myself for avoiding the frozen yogurt and grilled cheese sandwiches tonight; while all my friends ate frozen yogurt, I got more broccoli (yum). After dinner we walked over to Liz and Jenna's room to hang out for a little bit, then Chloe and I walked home. Oh and I have decided that Rohnert Park has the prettiest sunsets out of anywhere else I've been (excluding Hawaii of course); Chloe and I were taking note of it when we were walking home tonight. The whole sky was a mix of blues, orange, and yellow... it was just amazing! So pretty much today was just altogether a good day! Only about 2 more days till my mom gets here too! Couldn't be more excited for this weekend (:

"The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you" ...Someone posted that on facebook tonight; I really liked it (: It reminds me of the book I'm reading right now, The Shack, love that book!

Some Time to Myself

Today was a pretty slow day... Philosophy and math this morning then ballet this evening. In between I went to lunch with Kaitlin, Chloe, Liz, and Jenna in the caf (it was hot dog day... gross). Then I came home, had a good talk with Rachel, and then got ready to go workout. I ran on the elyptical for a half hour then did a good ab workout; I felt really good after. Plus I kept my phone turned off for the majority of the day today; normally I go crazy without my phone, but it actually was really relaxing today. I got to come home and have some quiet time to myself. I watched Glee, cleaned my room, laid down, and read more of The Shack. It is taking me forever to finish that book, but I love it! I also got a package pick up slip for some stuff I ordered and I got a letter from Devinn (my friend who is in the army in Oklahoma). The little things were seriously making my day today. There were little things that of course kind of made me frustrated and want to scream, but I worked out all my frustration at the gym. I feel like this week will be a million times better than last week. I'm just trying to maintain my good mood... And I know for sure the end of this week will be good once my momma gets here! But until then I'm just going to focus on school and working out. (:

"I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us" ... Most powerful quote from a song that I've heard in forever!

There Will Always Be Ups and Downs

I finally got to sleep in today! I slept till 11:15, even with Chloe in my room! After I got up, Chloe made me breakfast (she is so good to me) while I watched the end a sermon from The Well online. Then both of us went on a major cleaning spree. My room is so organized now and it looks huge since we took Chloe's air mattress out... I'll admit I'm kind of sad that the sleepovers are over now haha. During all of this I was also doing laundry, which by the way is now my least favorite thing to do. Walking five steps out of my room to put something in the dryer at home and walking out of my house and around the corner in pajamas to pay a dollar to put something in the dryer are two completely different things. But anways... after that Chloe, Krista, Kelly, Kaitlin, and I all went to the caf to have dinner then came back to our room to do homework and watch the VMA's. Chloe made an observation that I seemed a lot happier today. I think it was the combination of a good night's sleep and church, two things that can always make me feel better. So overall I was in an amazing mood all day long; I got to talk to my mom and Daryl over Skype, and I spent the day texting some people that I haven't talked to in awhile. My good mood lasted up until tonight when some disappointing news (to put it lightly) kind of turned things upside down. So while I was having an intense conversation with my mom over the phone, my roommates were slipping notes under the door, texting me, and writing on my facebook wall telling me how much they love me. I could not have asked for better friends than that... they are genuinely amazing people. I'm hoping that this week will get better; I'm just counting down the days until my mom gets here.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:5-6

Why Worry?

Today was slightly better than yesterday; it was just extremely long. After going to sleep around 3 AM, I woke up at 9 to go shopping with Rachel, Brittney, Chloe, and Kaitlin to find Rachel a dress for her 2 year anniversary dinner with her boyfriend. She found a great dress that looks so good on her! Then after we found the dress, we ate lunch and went to target. It was nice to get out of the house, but I was so tired all day. I came home and started to watch a sermon from The Well online then got ready for church. I helped in the 5th and 6th grade class tonight at the 5 o'clock service, went home to pick up Chloe and Kaitlin, and then came back to the church to go to the 7 o'clock service. The topic tonight was from a series that they were wrapping up and it was called "why worry?"... How appropriate is that?! Plus I was really happy with the fact that after the service, Kaitlin informed me that she thought the church was going to be like an uptight kind of service, but she loved the message and she wants to go back with me every week. After church we went to In N Out to eat then went to Rachel and Brittney's room so Kaitlin, Chloe, and Brittney could make shirts to wear to the Miley Cyrus concert. I'm so happy I have those girls, they're all so worried about me and they are so genuinely concerned. I don't think I went 10 minutes today without one of them telling me they loved me. Plus Rachel and Brittney just give me this kind of feeling like everything is going to be alright. I just can't wait until my mom gets here; it'll make me feel so much better. I definitely don't feel 100% better today, but now I know that taking it one day at a time is probably the best way to handle it... that and with prayer.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matthew 6:34

It's the Climb

"Every step I'm taking, every move I make feels lost with no direction... my faith is shaken. But I gotta keep trying, gotta keep my head held high. There's always gonna be another mountain; I'm always gonna wanna make it move. Always gonna be a uphill battle sometimes I'm gonna have to lose. Ain't about how fast I get there, ain't about what's waiting on the other side...It's the climb" -Miley Cyrus.

So normally I would never start anything I write with Miley Cyrus lyrics, but the words seemed so appropriate for today. My day started off really easy; I had philosophy for 15 minutes since my teacher was sick and my math class was cancelled... So that's the only class I had for today. I came home, ate breakfast, took a nap, then woke up to get ready to hang out with my sophomore friend Rachel. She took me to frozen yogurt and we had a good talk about life and my faith; she is so easy to relate to and we just click really well. She made me really think about everything that has been weighing on my mind for the last week. But after she dropped me off at home I felt like all my emotions were just welling up inside of me and I was about to explode. So I went to coffee with Brittney, Chloe, and Kaitlin. Right when I got there, Brittney knew something was up, so I told her everything that had been going on and I immediately started crying... and from there it was just all downhill for the rest of the day. I came home and was fine for awhile, but once I got on the phone with my mom I had a major melt down. I couldn't help but wish that she was here with me. It's so hard to go through stuff without her here. After I got a little more composed, I went over to Brittney and Rachel's to have a pajama party with Brittney's bible study. Right when I walked in the door, Rachel gave me the biggest hug and I totally just lost it. She ended up taking me in her room and we had a long talk. She gave me some amazing advice and prayed for me. I feel like she is the older sister I never had. We made a date to get together every week to watch church sermons and pray together. I am so blessed to have her in my life. Plus the support I got from Chloe, Brittney, and Kaitlin was just amazing! Today has been such a hard day for me, but I'm going to spend the weekend praying about the tough decisions I'm going to face in the days ahead. I feel like I'm super drained emotionally and the only thing left to do is lift it up to God.

I am trembling in the darkness of my own fear; all the questions with no answers so grip me while I’m here. And I may never know why, oh I may not understand... But I will lift up my eyes, and trust this is Your plan. When every little thing that I dream of being just slips away like water through my hands. And when it seems the walls from my beliefs come crashing down like they’re all made of sand, I won’t, let go of You now because I know, oh, You’re not shaken

Easy Two Days

So my mom was very disappointed when I didn't have time to write in my blog last night, so I'm going to fill everyone in on everything that has happened in the past two days just so you guys don't miss out on any of my stories. So yesterday I had philosophy and all we did was watch a film, then I headed to math just to find out that it had been cancelled for the day (YESSS!). So i got to go home and relax until ballet. After ballet I had bible study... and I officially love all the people who are in my group. They are so hilarious, and they give amazing advice on life in general. Today was extremely easy too... I had my university class this morning and I got out early, then I met up with everyone from my bible study and we went to the caf for lunch. It was by far the most entertaining meal I think I've ever had. After lunch I hung out with Sarah (a girl I just met, but totally click with, from bible study), James, and Chloe. Then Sarah and I went to a meeting for JUMP, the on campus community service club, and I signed up to feed the hungry. Later tonight Chloe made our suite dinner and a bunch of us met up to head over to Nexus. There was a really funny speaker from a Baptist Church, and he taught out of John 4 which is about Jesus meeting the woman at the well... It was really inspiring because he connected it back to the fact that we should reach out to people on campus who may not look approachable or look like us. I felt like I got a lot out of it tonight and the worship was amazing! After Nexus I got to hang out with my suitemates plus Kaitlin and eat cream puffs that Chelsea made. As for right now, I am laying on my bed with Chloe on an air mattress on the floor. Her roommate has been really sick so we've been having sleepovers in my room for the last 3 days. But she's going to go out in the front room for a little bit so I can have some quite time to read and probably pray. I love how understanding she is! Now I only have to get one more class out of the way tomorrow and I'm done for the week! (:

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty; who was, and is, and is to come... With all creation I sing, praise to the King of Kings! You are my everything, and I will adore You…

Lazy Day

I only had one class today, my psych class. It went by really fast... which wasn't surprising because I absolutely love the class. We watched a movie about Matthew Shepherd and I cried practically the whole time.. It was SO sad! But I love all the things we're learning in there and the teacher is so funny. After that class ended, I came home, made soup, and started to clean up my room. I got a little bored after awhile so I got on Skype and ended up staying on there for around 3 hours... But it kept me entertained until all my suitemates came home! This evening we all had to go to a building meeting for our dorm where they addressed the issue of safety and drugs on campus, it was pretty redundant and repetitive. After that, Chloe and I met Kaitlin at the caf for dinner... Then we made a quick trip to Target. I picked up some much needed things and I got to spend time with some of my favorite girls. (: When we got home I sat out in the front room with my suitemates and did my philosophy homework. It was nice to have a lazy day and just relax for awhile. I spent about an hour today looking up my favorite Bible verses and writing them on post its to stick on my mirror... It made me really excited to start Bible study tomorrow night! Plus Chloe asked me to take her to buy her first Bible which made me even more excited... AND (it just keeps getting better), Kaitlin--who is slowly exploring her faith and just went to church for the first time last week-- has been having a rough week so I suggested that she listen to K Love... She said it helped her so much and she really wants to start going to church with me. God works in such amazing ways (:

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33" ...I LOVE this verse! It just shows that despite the problems you have, you know that you can always rely on God to carry you through the times of trouble. His love overcomes any hard time you might have.

A Weekend at Home

So this past Friday I headed home for Labor Day weekend to spend some much needed time with family and friends. I had some company for half the drive since I drove my friend Liz to Modesto. We had some good talks and we laughed a lot which made the drive go by really fast. Once I got to Clovis, it really felt like I had never left, but at the same time it was weird being home. I was happy to see my family and my pets too! That night I hung out with some friends, and I'm not going to lie, I kind of felt out of the loop on everything that was going on... I was lost in all the conversations and inside jokes, but I just kind of accepted that we're going to grow and change over time and that our different experiences may put distance between us, but it's the past memories that will always keep us connected. Saturday night I went to the Fresno State football game which was really fun! I got to see a lot of people at the game, and it was nice because SSU doesn't have a football team. Sunday was probably my favorite day though! My friend Andrew came over and we made waffles and fried rice (it sounds like a weird mix, but the 2 dishes weren't exactly meant to go together). Then in the afternoon I met up with Victoria for coffee and some time to catch up on everything; there is one friend that no matter how much time we spend apart, we can always get together and manage to stay close. After that I went to The Well and it was just simply amazing. The worship was great and the message was exactly what I needed to hear! After church I went to Winco with my mom to buy stuff for my dorm, then I said goodbye to my friends. This morning I woke up early, packed up, and headed back to my "other home". Right when I walked in the door I was attacked by Chloe and Kaitlin... I was SO happy to see them! We talked for hours about our weekends and how we felt so lonely without eachother haha. I'm so blessed to have people like them in my life! Now I am off to study for my psych quiz and hopefully squeeze in some reading!

"For this is what I'm glad to do; it's time to live a life of love that pleases You... And I will give my all to You, surrender everything I have and follow You...I'll follow You"
I cannot wait to see the amazing things God has planned for my life... Praying that He consumes my whole heart! (:

In Awe of God's Love

Today I only had one class, it was my university class and it started at 9:30 so I got to sleep in till 8 (yay!). So that was a good start to my day; then I came home, ate lunch, cleaned up my room a little, and did all my philosophy homework for tomorrow plus made an attempt to do my math homework (epic failure). After that I met Kaitlin and Kim for dinner in the caf and they came back with me to my room and us plus Chloe and Chelsea went to Nexxus. Nexxus is this amazing mini church service put on by Intervarsity every week. The worship was really good, and I just felt God's love everywhere in that room; I'm so happy I've found those amazing people. After Nexxus, Chloe, Rachel, Brittney, Kaitlin, and I all went to the caf for breakfast at night (the staff gets together and serves you breakfast from 10pm-12am)... and we watched people sing karaoke. It was seriously the best way to end my night! Then we headed home, Chloe got her keys stuck in a tree, Brittney climbed the tree to get them down, Kaitlin helped me with math homework, and I drove her home. Tomorrow I only have 2 classes, plus a tiny math quiz (praying I can get a somewhat decent grade before I get a tutor!)... then i get to go HOME! Can't wait to see my Clovis girls and go to the Fresno State football game Saturday! Yay for 3 day weekends! (:

"And I will rise when He calls my name.. no more sorrow, no more pain. I will rise on eagles' wings, before my God, fall on my knees and rise."

Bible Study and Migraines

So today I suffered through some of philosophy and most of math due to an extreme migraine. Thank goodness I have medicine for it though. After i got out of class at 10:50, I came home, ate a yogurt, took some medicine, and fell right to sleep. I woke up 3 1/2 hours later feeling a lot better but still having a slight headache. I had ballet for 2 hours and felt kind of nauseated, and what made it worse was the fact that our teacher hates to run the air conditioner and thinks that she can cool down the room by just opening a door (obviously that doesn't work!). After ballet I came home, made a tuna sandwich, watched a little TV, and then went to Bible study on campus. We started out in the quad in front of my dorm, played a few games, and just got to know everyone. Then Chloe and I invited everyone into our room to play balderdash (hilarious game!). After everyone from Bible study left, some of my suitemate's friends stopped by and so did the girls who live upstairs. My suitemate Chelsea and her friends were getting ready to go cow tipping (SO funny, but I was really scared they would hurt the poor cows!), but once they actually got out to the field or wherever they went, the lack of cows made their mission unsuccessful. So after Chelsea came home, Chloe, Ananta, Chelsea, Krista (all my suitemates, minus one), and I sat out at the kitchen table with our laptops and had some quality bonding time. I'm really happy that I get along with all those girls; they're so hilarious! Plus we'll be getting a new suitemate within the next 5 days... the girl who rooms with Krista is switching rooms, but none of us exactly care (sounds mean, but just wait till I explain). She's the girl who moved in and immediately labeled all her stuff in the kitchen... no big deal except she won't even share her silverware and she labeled her banana! I mean come on, a banana? Needless to say we're excited to get the new girl because we all really like her. On a lighter note, I am about 2 days away from coming home! I can't wait to see my friends and family and give my kitty the lovins she deserves! The long drive will definitely be worth it (:

"Open the door, and show me Your face tonight... I know it’s true, no one heals me like You, and You hold the key" -Matt Brouwner, I Shall Believe.

Psychology and Sushi

Yay for only have one class today! I went to my first psych class so I could sit in on it and it was from 8-11:40, but it was interesting so I managed to stay awake and paying attention the whole time! Now I'm just hoping I for sure get into it! The subject matter is a little, what my friends would call, "sketchy" (it's a socal thing that they've somehow worked into my vocabulary). After class i rode my bike back home, which wasn't exactly close either.. it was actually at least a half mile from my class, I mean like other end of the world far. I literally had to go over a bridge to get there, yet they still consider that "on campus", but whatever. Then I met Kaitlin and Chloe at the caf for lunch and headed home to do homework. I actually ended up taking a 2 hour nap first then studying and doing philosophy homework for around 2 1/2 hours. I love how since leaving high school and entering into college my work ethic has changed SO much... I think it's cause my parents are actually paying for my schooling now so if I fail then I cost them an extreme amount of money haha. But anyways, after studying my butt off, I got ready with the girls to go to sushi; we drove all the way to Santa Rosa just to find out that Tex Wasabi's was closed, so we headed back to Rohnert Park to eat at Boathouse. It was really good, but it made me want a nice home cooked Japanese meal! Only 3 more days then I'll get to come home for a little while! I can't wait to see everyone and go to The Well on Sunday. I've missed everything and everyone so much... just got to get through a few more classes them I'm homeward bound (:

"Come to the treasure you who search and you'll search no more. Come to the Lover, you who want and you'll want no more. And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed... Love is here, Love is now. Love is pouring from His hands from, His brow. Love is near, it satisfies. streams of mercy flowing from His side..." -Tenth Avenue North

Frisbees and Friends...

Nothing too crazy to report for today. I went to philosophy and math this morning; I was pretty lost in math, just because my teacher moves WAY faster than my high school algebra teacher did. I'm going to give it another week of class and one quiz then I'll probably get a tutor. After class I went to lunch with Kaitlin and Chloe, sent a package and a letter to Devinn, and painted my toes (first time in 3 years that I haven't gone to get a pedicure... this is epic people!). Then I went to my first day of ultimate frisbee practice; I loved it! I suck at it obviously, but I improved a lot just after one practice. Though I did come home with some major bruises on my hands and wrists, but I guess that's the price you pay! I left frisbee practice after 2 hours (an hour early) and rushed to my 2 hour ballet class... needless to say I was exhausted after, but thank goodness for bikes because I would have never gotten there in time! I ate a really yummy salad from Charlie Brown's Cafe on campus, did a little homework and, hung out with Kaitlin, Chloe, and Liz.. I love those girls! We were laughing extremely hard for the whole time we were together tonight! They're so amazing... I have been blessed with wonderful friends from both Clovis and Sonoma State, that's for sure (:

"But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because You have rescued me" -Psalm 13:5