It's the Climb

"Every step I'm taking, every move I make feels lost with no direction... my faith is shaken. But I gotta keep trying, gotta keep my head held high. There's always gonna be another mountain; I'm always gonna wanna make it move. Always gonna be a uphill battle sometimes I'm gonna have to lose. Ain't about how fast I get there, ain't about what's waiting on the other side...It's the climb" -Miley Cyrus.

So normally I would never start anything I write with Miley Cyrus lyrics, but the words seemed so appropriate for today. My day started off really easy; I had philosophy for 15 minutes since my teacher was sick and my math class was cancelled... So that's the only class I had for today. I came home, ate breakfast, took a nap, then woke up to get ready to hang out with my sophomore friend Rachel. She took me to frozen yogurt and we had a good talk about life and my faith; she is so easy to relate to and we just click really well. She made me really think about everything that has been weighing on my mind for the last week. But after she dropped me off at home I felt like all my emotions were just welling up inside of me and I was about to explode. So I went to coffee with Brittney, Chloe, and Kaitlin. Right when I got there, Brittney knew something was up, so I told her everything that had been going on and I immediately started crying... and from there it was just all downhill for the rest of the day. I came home and was fine for awhile, but once I got on the phone with my mom I had a major melt down. I couldn't help but wish that she was here with me. It's so hard to go through stuff without her here. After I got a little more composed, I went over to Brittney and Rachel's to have a pajama party with Brittney's bible study. Right when I walked in the door, Rachel gave me the biggest hug and I totally just lost it. She ended up taking me in her room and we had a long talk. She gave me some amazing advice and prayed for me. I feel like she is the older sister I never had. We made a date to get together every week to watch church sermons and pray together. I am so blessed to have her in my life. Plus the support I got from Chloe, Brittney, and Kaitlin was just amazing! Today has been such a hard day for me, but I'm going to spend the weekend praying about the tough decisions I'm going to face in the days ahead. I feel like I'm super drained emotionally and the only thing left to do is lift it up to God.

I am trembling in the darkness of my own fear; all the questions with no answers so grip me while I’m here. And I may never know why, oh I may not understand... But I will lift up my eyes, and trust this is Your plan. When every little thing that I dream of being just slips away like water through my hands. And when it seems the walls from my beliefs come crashing down like they’re all made of sand, I won’t, let go of You now because I know, oh, You’re not shaken