The Asian Pacific American Conference this weekend was so fun! I ate some really weird things the first night (traditional Chinese banquet food... deep fried fish with the head still on, need i say more?), met some really nice people from my school and other norcal schools, received numerous compliments from the other girls there, and came away feeling closer to God. The weekend, for me, was more about grace than my Asian American identity.
I learned that there are so many times in my life that I know that God freely gives me grace yet I feel as if I have to do something to repay Him. I have to read my Bible every night, go to every Intervarsity event, or try to be the "perfect Christian girl" in order to find favor in His eyes... When in reality that is not at all how it is. God's love is so unconditional and unchanging; He loves me now and has loved me even when I made decisions that I'm not so proud of now. His grace covers every part of my life and is something that cannot be increased or diminished by any mistake or good deed. God knows what's in my heart, where I've been, and where my life is headed. I think I learned this weekend that His grace comes with no strings attached and is something I should find great joy in. He calls out to me in hardest times of my life saying, "my precious child, do not be afraid to come to Me and crawl into My arms... I am here and I love you no matter what you have done". That thought brings me more comfort than anything else in this world.
God's grace will continue to amaze me time and time again. The way God has spoken to my heart this weekend moved me in a big way. I even stood up to share with the entire conference a letter I had wrote to God this morning, a way to accept His grace. It's amazing the courage God has given me to be so open about my faith and the things He is doing within me. Knowing that I will continue to grow closer to Him throughout my life and our relationship will strengthen even more is exciting. I think I now know the true meaning of rejoicing in the Lord (:
"I am your beloved, Your creation... And You love me as I am. You've called me chosen for Your kingdom; unashamed to call me your own... I am your beloved. "
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Long Week!
Oh my goodness... My first week of classes was SO long! I think it was just because I had to get back into the routine of going to bed at a decent hour, getting up early, and managing my time well. I only have classes Tuesday/ Thursdays, but that means that those two days are pretty hectic. I have class from 8-10:30 am (two different classes) then I have a pretty long break... Then I have four classes back to back from 2:30-6:40. It hasn't been too bad; it was just hard to go from doing literally nothing all day everyday to doing something constantly. Welcome back to college life!
Along with starting classes this week, I also started babysitting (man have I missed doing that!). For the last 5 or so years I had so much fun babysitting my neighbors, Cooper and Finnley, but since I moved I haven't babysat at all... I forgot how much fun it can be! I'm going to start watching little Josiah every Wednesday. His mom actually used to babysit me a long time ago when she lived across the street from me! Erica and Micah (Josiah's parents) both work at the awesome church I've been going to/volunteering at since I came to school. I had a lot of fun playing with him Wednesday... It was a million times better than going to classes (especially since he's such a good baby!). So I think Wednesdays will quickly become my favorite day of the week (:
As for everything else... I am going to an Asian Christian conference this weekend (Mom, maybe your hope for me to marry a Christian man and an Asian guy will finally work out this weekend... haha don't get your hopes up!). And I also have a phone interview for Hume lake this next week! I'm hoping things go well! Then the rest of my free time has been spent either studying or hanging out with the people I have missed so much and the new friends I've made over the past week! I feel so blessed to have good classes, great friends, and time to relax! (: God knows exactly what I need and He has definitely provided over the last few months!
When I don't fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere... When I don’t measure up to much in this life; oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ ♥
Along with starting classes this week, I also started babysitting (man have I missed doing that!). For the last 5 or so years I had so much fun babysitting my neighbors, Cooper and Finnley, but since I moved I haven't babysat at all... I forgot how much fun it can be! I'm going to start watching little Josiah every Wednesday. His mom actually used to babysit me a long time ago when she lived across the street from me! Erica and Micah (Josiah's parents) both work at the awesome church I've been going to/volunteering at since I came to school. I had a lot of fun playing with him Wednesday... It was a million times better than going to classes (especially since he's such a good baby!). So I think Wednesdays will quickly become my favorite day of the week (:
As for everything else... I am going to an Asian Christian conference this weekend (Mom, maybe your hope for me to marry a Christian man and an Asian guy will finally work out this weekend... haha don't get your hopes up!). And I also have a phone interview for Hume lake this next week! I'm hoping things go well! Then the rest of my free time has been spent either studying or hanging out with the people I have missed so much and the new friends I've made over the past week! I feel so blessed to have good classes, great friends, and time to relax! (: God knows exactly what I need and He has definitely provided over the last few months!
When I don't fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere... When I don’t measure up to much in this life; oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ ♥
Monday, February 1, 2010
Uneventful Day
Today was filled with errands... I don't want to explain everything that I did because it is going to sound incredibly boring! But I will say that I got up early this morning (without even having classes) and went to the rec center to work out! I also got to catch up with a bunch of people and just have fun before my classes start tomorrow. Tonight I went to an intervarsity outreach event where they addressed the issue of slave trafficking... We all made shirts having to do with it and we're going to wear them on Thursday. We're hoping that the vague message on the shirts will prompt people in our classes to ask us about them so we can raise awareness.
I wish I had more things to update everyone on, but unfortunately today was pretty uneventful! Tomorrow, however, may be a different story. Five classes in one day will definitely be interesting... and I'm sure I'll have more than enough to complain about! (:
I wish I had more things to update everyone on, but unfortunately today was pretty uneventful! Tomorrow, however, may be a different story. Five classes in one day will definitely be interesting... and I'm sure I'll have more than enough to complain about! (:
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Same Old, Same Old
It's my first night back in the dorms and it almost feels like I never left. I was greeted by the familiar sounds of my roommates singing, screaming, laughing, and talking. After unloading my car (I had a ridiculous amount of stuff), I decided to rearrange my room... It took a total of two hours for me to get it just right, but I'm pretty happy with the end result. After that I had to unpack and it seriously sucked. Today will probably be only one of a handful of days in my life where I hate the fact that I have such a large amount of clothes (yes Mom I am very thankful and fortunate to have such a big wardrobe, but I hate unpacking all my stuff by myself).
After unpacking and taking a quick nap, I headed over to the Doubletree to pick up Kaitlin who had taken a shuttle in from the airport. We ran to Target really quick then to In n Out for grilled cheeses. After hanging out in her room for a bit, I came back to my room to relax and get ready for bed. The drive has worn me out, and I want nothing more right now than to climb into my (tiny) bed and sleep. I haven't even been back here for 12 hours and I'm already back in the swing of things.
Can You take me by the hand; can You use me as I am... Break me into who You want me to be. When the time is finally right, will You open up my eyes... Show me everything You want me to see (:
After unpacking and taking a quick nap, I headed over to the Doubletree to pick up Kaitlin who had taken a shuttle in from the airport. We ran to Target really quick then to In n Out for grilled cheeses. After hanging out in her room for a bit, I came back to my room to relax and get ready for bed. The drive has worn me out, and I want nothing more right now than to climb into my (tiny) bed and sleep. I haven't even been back here for 12 hours and I'm already back in the swing of things.
Can You take me by the hand; can You use me as I am... Break me into who You want me to be. When the time is finally right, will You open up my eyes... Show me everything You want me to see (:
Friday, January 29, 2010
Back to RoPo!
So I'm heading back up to Rohnert Park tomorrow and I am more than ready to be there! I am definitely not excited for the four hour drive by myself, but I am ready to see all my friends and for classes to start. I spent my last few days here with my friends, taking care of different appointments (eye doctor and shots... ewww), and enjoying my time at home with my parents and Junie. It's going to be really weird being back in the dorms and going to the caf for meals, but I'm sure it won't take long for me to get back into the swing of things.
I'm hoping that after my time at Urbana and the huge amount of time after that I had to reflect, I will go back to school with a new outlook on the way I should be living my life, Who I should be living it for, and the attitude I have. Just because I'm going back to a hectic schedule and classes that I'm sure will produce tons of homework, doesn't mean I should lose sight of all the amazing things I've learned over break. I know that God is stirring in my heart, and I will continue to grow closer to Him over the next semester. I just have to make sure I set aside time to spend with God in His word, in prayer, and reading the many books I bought at Urbana.
I have a feeling this semester is going to be a lot different than last semester... Since I needed about a month and a half last semester to adjust to college life and all that. This semester I know what to expect; I'm not scared or apprehensive about anything. I am simply excited to see the great things the next 4 months will hold. Life is good (:
"The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." ♥
I'm hoping that after my time at Urbana and the huge amount of time after that I had to reflect, I will go back to school with a new outlook on the way I should be living my life, Who I should be living it for, and the attitude I have. Just because I'm going back to a hectic schedule and classes that I'm sure will produce tons of homework, doesn't mean I should lose sight of all the amazing things I've learned over break. I know that God is stirring in my heart, and I will continue to grow closer to Him over the next semester. I just have to make sure I set aside time to spend with God in His word, in prayer, and reading the many books I bought at Urbana.
I have a feeling this semester is going to be a lot different than last semester... Since I needed about a month and a half last semester to adjust to college life and all that. This semester I know what to expect; I'm not scared or apprehensive about anything. I am simply excited to see the great things the next 4 months will hold. Life is good (:
"The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." ♥
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Longest Break Ever!
I'm down to less than a week of break left, and I could not be more ready to go back! All my friends have started school and have jobs so I feel like I have had nothing to do for the past couple weeks. I miss my friends from school and I'm ready to tackle all my new classes! I know that this semester will most likely fly by faster than I think, but I am so excited for it.
I also recently applied for a Summer job at Hume Lake Christian Camps... I still have to go through the interview process but I'm hoping for the best! That way I'll have something to do this Summer, I'll be able to make money, and I can make some new friends. I just don't want to fall into the same routine like every other Summer: laying around the house, tanning, going out with friends... Everyday of the week. If I get the job then I will live at the camp with other girls that I work with, but it's close enough to Clovis to where I could come home on weekends if I wanted to. I'm so excited for all of the amazing plans I have for the rest of this year/Summer... I'm going back to school with a new attitude (thank you Urbana) and I can't wait to see what God has planned for me!
I also recently applied for a Summer job at Hume Lake Christian Camps... I still have to go through the interview process but I'm hoping for the best! That way I'll have something to do this Summer, I'll be able to make money, and I can make some new friends. I just don't want to fall into the same routine like every other Summer: laying around the house, tanning, going out with friends... Everyday of the week. If I get the job then I will live at the camp with other girls that I work with, but it's close enough to Clovis to where I could come home on weekends if I wanted to. I'm so excited for all of the amazing plans I have for the rest of this year/Summer... I'm going back to school with a new attitude (thank you Urbana) and I can't wait to see what God has planned for me!
Oh and PS... Colt McCoy recently proposed to his girlfriend. :( Sad day!
Monday, January 11, 2010
URBANA! (:
Wow it has taken me what seems like forever to update this thing! Let me start off by stating the obvious... Urbana was beyond amazing! I wish I could give everyone a complete detailed run through of what I experienced, but instead I will provide you with some of my favorite moments with old friends, new friends, and of course amazing moments with God.
After running through airports and going through not only a time change but a vast change in weather, I arrived in snowy St. Louis. That is when the chaos and excitement began. Each day, we would wake up extremely early (7am Missouri time and 5am California time), eat breakfast then head on over to Bible study in our hotel. We would then walk a half mile (most of the week in the snow) to the dome, which is the HUGE convention center, and we would have worship and listen to a few speakers. Following the morning session, we would be free to go to lunch then attend up to two seminars a day, or you could skip the seminars and go the incredible bookstore or the hundreds of booths to meet with different missional ministries. All of that chaos was followed by dinner (watching 17,000 people shuffle through a dinner line was interesting...) then back to evening session where we would listen to a few more speakers and worship some more.
The days were very long, and by the time I would make it back to the hotel all I would want to do is sleep. But I would spend my days with my friend from high school, Micaela, and I would spend my nights with my new friends from school. I had an amazing time getting to know more people from school and getting to spend time with friends from my Bible study. I also met so many people from different countries and different states... It blew me away to think that each and every person I met loved Jesus, just like me. It was comforting to know that there are so many other people out there who share that same passion.
The first few days, I didn't hear any amazing speakers... I was getting a little antsy because I expected to be so blown away by what I was hearing. It was until the third night that two men spoke and left me completely convicted and speechless. The first was Shane Claiborne, a radical pastor from the midwest who has written amazing books and has dreadlocks. His talk was on radical giving and being missional in the way you give. The one thing he said that really stuck with me was that "the blessings of God are too great not to give away"... It stuck out to me because I had never thought of it like that. That this Love I have found would be so amazing that I would want to share it and give it away... It makes sense, but it just wasn't something that I had initially seen. Shane was followed by Oscar Muriu from Kenya who spoke about missions in general. He was probably the most convicting out of all the speakers I listened to. He made the point that going overseas does not make you a missionary, it's not about geographical location... It's about crossing through the door from pride to humility, power to powerless, riches to poverty, and harmony to brokeness; just as Jesus did when He came to earth. Our good intentions will never be enough unless they are accompanied by humility.
I went back to the hotel that night and thanked God for the amazing way He had spoken to me. It occurred to me that my heart has not been in the right place all this time; yes I would love to go overseas, but if I can't even be missional at home with that same humility then there is no way I could do anything in a foriegn country. So I looked up some of the verses they referred to and I came up with Acts 1:8 "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth". Jesus begins by telling his disciples to start in Jerusalem, their home... That is where I have to start, in my hometown, my home church, my dorm room, and with my friends and loved ones. If I can't serve the people around me with the same humility and open heart as Jesus did, then how will I ever be able to serve so lovingly overseas?
This whole experiece has changed the way I view my life and its purpose. Although global missions may not be my life calling, I would love to make it a part of my life. I just have to get my heart to that place... I continue to work on that daily and pray that God will be my teacher through all of this. Urbana was such a great experience... And everything that I described is not even the half of it. I wish I could have stayed longer; it has definitely been hard to readjust to normal life back in Clovis while still keeping in mind everything I learned in those five days. I imagine it will be even more challenging to go back to school. But I have most definitely enjoyed break overall and feel very fortunate to have had such a great opportunity to attend Urbana.
As for the rest of my life, I have decided I would like to marry Colt McCoy... He is the quarterback of the Texas Longhorns, incredibly cute, and amazingly humble. This video sums it all up! (:
After running through airports and going through not only a time change but a vast change in weather, I arrived in snowy St. Louis. That is when the chaos and excitement began. Each day, we would wake up extremely early (7am Missouri time and 5am California time), eat breakfast then head on over to Bible study in our hotel. We would then walk a half mile (most of the week in the snow) to the dome, which is the HUGE convention center, and we would have worship and listen to a few speakers. Following the morning session, we would be free to go to lunch then attend up to two seminars a day, or you could skip the seminars and go the incredible bookstore or the hundreds of booths to meet with different missional ministries. All of that chaos was followed by dinner (watching 17,000 people shuffle through a dinner line was interesting...) then back to evening session where we would listen to a few more speakers and worship some more.
The days were very long, and by the time I would make it back to the hotel all I would want to do is sleep. But I would spend my days with my friend from high school, Micaela, and I would spend my nights with my new friends from school. I had an amazing time getting to know more people from school and getting to spend time with friends from my Bible study. I also met so many people from different countries and different states... It blew me away to think that each and every person I met loved Jesus, just like me. It was comforting to know that there are so many other people out there who share that same passion.
The first few days, I didn't hear any amazing speakers... I was getting a little antsy because I expected to be so blown away by what I was hearing. It was until the third night that two men spoke and left me completely convicted and speechless. The first was Shane Claiborne, a radical pastor from the midwest who has written amazing books and has dreadlocks. His talk was on radical giving and being missional in the way you give. The one thing he said that really stuck with me was that "the blessings of God are too great not to give away"... It stuck out to me because I had never thought of it like that. That this Love I have found would be so amazing that I would want to share it and give it away... It makes sense, but it just wasn't something that I had initially seen. Shane was followed by Oscar Muriu from Kenya who spoke about missions in general. He was probably the most convicting out of all the speakers I listened to. He made the point that going overseas does not make you a missionary, it's not about geographical location... It's about crossing through the door from pride to humility, power to powerless, riches to poverty, and harmony to brokeness; just as Jesus did when He came to earth. Our good intentions will never be enough unless they are accompanied by humility.
I went back to the hotel that night and thanked God for the amazing way He had spoken to me. It occurred to me that my heart has not been in the right place all this time; yes I would love to go overseas, but if I can't even be missional at home with that same humility then there is no way I could do anything in a foriegn country. So I looked up some of the verses they referred to and I came up with Acts 1:8 "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth". Jesus begins by telling his disciples to start in Jerusalem, their home... That is where I have to start, in my hometown, my home church, my dorm room, and with my friends and loved ones. If I can't serve the people around me with the same humility and open heart as Jesus did, then how will I ever be able to serve so lovingly overseas?
This whole experiece has changed the way I view my life and its purpose. Although global missions may not be my life calling, I would love to make it a part of my life. I just have to get my heart to that place... I continue to work on that daily and pray that God will be my teacher through all of this. Urbana was such a great experience... And everything that I described is not even the half of it. I wish I could have stayed longer; it has definitely been hard to readjust to normal life back in Clovis while still keeping in mind everything I learned in those five days. I imagine it will be even more challenging to go back to school. But I have most definitely enjoyed break overall and feel very fortunate to have had such a great opportunity to attend Urbana.
As for the rest of my life, I have decided I would like to marry Colt McCoy... He is the quarterback of the Texas Longhorns, incredibly cute, and amazingly humble. This video sums it all up! (:
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