The Asian Pacific American Conference this weekend was so fun! I ate some really weird things the first night (traditional Chinese banquet food... deep fried fish with the head still on, need i say more?), met some really nice people from my school and other norcal schools, received numerous compliments from the other girls there, and came away feeling closer to God. The weekend, for me, was more about grace than my Asian American identity.
I learned that there are so many times in my life that I know that God freely gives me grace yet I feel as if I have to do something to repay Him. I have to read my Bible every night, go to every Intervarsity event, or try to be the "perfect Christian girl" in order to find favor in His eyes... When in reality that is not at all how it is. God's love is so unconditional and unchanging; He loves me now and has loved me even when I made decisions that I'm not so proud of now. His grace covers every part of my life and is something that cannot be increased or diminished by any mistake or good deed. God knows what's in my heart, where I've been, and where my life is headed. I think I learned this weekend that His grace comes with no strings attached and is something I should find great joy in. He calls out to me in hardest times of my life saying, "my precious child, do not be afraid to come to Me and crawl into My arms... I am here and I love you no matter what you have done". That thought brings me more comfort than anything else in this world.
God's grace will continue to amaze me time and time again. The way God has spoken to my heart this weekend moved me in a big way. I even stood up to share with the entire conference a letter I had wrote to God this morning, a way to accept His grace. It's amazing the courage God has given me to be so open about my faith and the things He is doing within me. Knowing that I will continue to grow closer to Him throughout my life and our relationship will strengthen even more is exciting. I think I now know the true meaning of rejoicing in the Lord (:
"I am your beloved, Your creation... And You love me as I am. You've called me chosen for Your kingdom; unashamed to call me your own... I am your beloved. "
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